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i had my driver’s license since i was in my sophomore year in college. but erpats would only let me drive around the village or the nearby town, the farthest i have traveled with his consent.


years after, now that the family have moved to a new place and i just had additional responsibilities shouldered, erpats has no choice but to forego his consent, indefinitely.

driving in the urban zone made me feel like i am but a freshie.

just a few weeks in the city, i had the rear end scratched and cracked; caused a hole in the back left tire; beat a red light twice and almost caught by an MMDA officer for “swerving”.

i am not a reckless driver. i was trained formally in a driving school and continously nagged by erpats to be a defensive driver.

i was never nervous driving in the rural streets; but the city does not only make me nervous, it puts me to my deepest anxiety.


I haven’t had the chance to watch any of the reunion concerts of the eraserheads because i was always too busy in school.

Now that i’m watching them on tv, goose bumps creep all over me.

Hearing their music never fails to float me backtrack to good memories of my teenage years.

Such regret that i’ve never seen them play in flesh. eraserheads

A chapter of my life has ended. But the conclusion of said phase is just but a beginning of a new combat for me.

A fresh start indeed. Graduation. New house. New environment. New responsibilities… My challenge now is how not to messed up as i always do.

I have already made plans on how I’ll make the most of my opportunities. But honestly, i’m having a hard time to breathe on it. My past seems to be tagging behind me and it takes a lot of holding back just to push through with what i have to do.

I am afraid to fail. To make the wrong decisions. My time is running out and i cannot afford to be as lax as i used to be.

i am ikis. that is what my old man calls me.

i believe that one way of keeping one’s sanity is to engage in an activity where one can vent out him/her self.

this serves as my dumping site.

if you happen to stumble upon my shit, do stay… it may stink though.